*Actual quote from male “Shot at Love” contestant
Thea asked me to blog about this one and I have to be honest, I don’t even know where to begin.
For the good of the blog, I just sat down and watched an entire episode of a new reality show on MTV called “A Shot at Love,” and that’s a half an hour of my life I’ll never get back. The premise of the show is described in the Toronto Star today:
A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, you see, is one of those dating shows … with a twist. The suitors vying for Tila’s fickle affections include “16 gorgeous straight guys!” and “16 hot lesbians!”“Each week I’m going to kick their asses to the curb one by one until the right man or woman is left standing,” Tila promises, with typical gentility.
(Tila Tequila is a famous person, by the way. That and she uses the show as a vehicle to “out” herself; “I haven’t even told my parents yet,” she says during the premiere.)
And yes, it is just as awful as you would assume, exploiting every “women are for the male gaze” stereotype of female sexuality possible, screaming “hot lesbian!” at every turn, dressing all the contestants in bathing suits and touting itself as “the ultimate battle of the sexes!” The men are forced to walk in high heels and get waxes, while there’s gratuitous shots of “lesbian man hate” (cause they’re rarely referred to as women, just as “lesbians”) The men come up with gems like “I’ve never been with an Asian chick before, but I love Chinese food” when they’re not continuously beating the crap out of eachother. There’s even a couple of virgins in the mix, to exploit the cultural facilnation with sexualizing virginity.
The entire show is based on a “boys are like this/girls are like this” dichotomy, with a little (okay, a lot of)”let’s watch girls kissing” thrown in. And if you were wondering, yes - all of the lesbians are of the stereotypical “for the male gaze/straight porn” variety, and if they weren’t “lipstick” enough (Tila’s words, not mine) they were gone by the end of the first show. Actual quote: “I think that a butchy girl is so creepy. Good god.”
In the opening show (before the male and female contestants become aware of eachother) one female contestant naively states “this is a groundbreaking show about lesbian love.” No such luck. This show is not about bringing homosexuality or bisexuality into the mainstream to create understanding or tolerance. Far from it, folks. You name a female sexual stereotype and this show is utilizing it for exploitive entertainment value:
Officially, Tila is a model, a singer, an aspiring actor. Unofficially, she’s an ethereal manifestation of blunt-force promotion in our age of grassroots celebrity and online narcissism: she exists because she can. She exists to make money from our fascination. Because as we see tonight, even her sexuality is a commodity to be sold.



Digg
six comments
Oh Stacey May! The sacrifices you make for Shameless are commendable - seriously!
When I saw the ad for this show, I wondered what implicit statement it would be making about
1) bisexuality
2) lesbianism
3) east Asian women.
Very sad to see that all of my worst fears are confirmed.
The thing that seemed most grossatating to me about the show was the representation of bisexuality - bisexuality is rarely presented as a sexuality that exists in and of itself. It's more often than not presented as a part-time thing, while you make up your mind; an option for college party girls; or as soon as someone who identifies as bisexual enters either a heterosexual or homosexual partnership, they're no longer bisexual, they're immediately queer or straight.
Ironically, despite the fascination with the choices made by people who identify as bisexual, what the bisexual person wants for themselves is totally and utterly unimportant. Bisexuality becomes a "for-others" sexuality - as in, what is focussed on is the tittalation factor that bisexuality offers for straight men. This totally ignores and negates what the person identifying as bisexual wants for themselves.
Kind of like how women - and these days in particular, women of colour, and in particular, East Asian women - are sex objects. They are expected to be sexual and to offer pleasure, but as soon as they express having their own desires, interests or wills, it's mad unsexy.
So depressing!
Posted by Thea
October 23, 2007, 1:14 PM
I really wanted to add that the show enraged me because it conveyed a message that women choose to be with women so they can do "girl stuff" together (like shopping and doing eachother's hair for instance) and not because it's a natural sexual preference. Lesbianism is set up to be something chosen in reaction to men, something "anti-men," which only fuels the bullshit theory that lesbians are man-haters.
Queer identity doesn't exist on this show - the players are watered down cardboard cut-out caricatures of what heteronormative culture believes "gay people are like." It also utilizes the whole "lesbians are okay if they're performing for my pleasure" belief system for entertainment value.
I think the fact that Tila identifies as bisexual could be positive in some way, but from the previews of what's to come I wouldn't doubt that the circus will disintegrate into her choosing a lifestyle (there's that gay/straight dichotomy again!) and not a partner.
Posted by Stacey May
October 23, 2007, 1:25 PM
I read the same article in the star this morning and had no idea how to react. I had my qualms with The L Word but this is something entirely more awful.
I think this is such a sweet example of sex selling -- it's certainly nothing to do about genuine emotion and the comment about 'butch lesbians' is just too much to handle. This is a big kick in the ass to every straight, lesbian, bi-curious, bisexual, or pansexual woman who aches for her sexual orientation to be taken seriously.
Then again, it is MTV, and could we expect much more?
(Hey Stacey -- how's the book?)
Posted by Lex
October 23, 2007, 2:38 PM
We just got cable this week and I got sucked into a MARATHON of this show. I just want to point out that of the two butch lesbians on the show, one is still on. Doesn't change how completely problematic and awful this show is, but, just sayin.
Posted by Sheila
October 24, 2007, 9:28 PM
Wow. I love how you people only watched one episode and decided to make comments about the show. I am a fan of the show and Miss Tila herself. It's a hard thing coming out on television and making the world let know of it. I personally give her props. maybe you should take time to watch the episodes and not just read about them. the show is truly, genuinely about finding love. after all the bullshit, fighting, looking for drama, contestants leave. because we all know all reality shows have them. it truly shows that everyone us there to find love. and not only Tila.
Posted by Sophia
December 4, 2007, 5:42 AM
o and by the way. shes famous because her FANS love her. and only people like you make her famous because you hate at the fact that you can't do the things she can. for example actually have a career started from just myspace. a website. because trust me. this half ass website isn't going anywhere. I only came across it because I was searching for pictures of tila. and tell me ONE celebrity who actually talks to their fans everyday and actually makes time for them. and also has time to create a group to make a difference may be you should actually look into her before making judgements about her (ie her Elite Guerilla Posse).
Posted by sophia
December 4, 2007, 5:49 AM
Leave a comment
This blog post is older than 90 days old. All comments submitted regarding this post will be automatically held for review by the editors before posting. Your comment will not appear on the site until it has been approved.
Our comment policy
Shameless prides itself on the diversity of opinions expressed by our writers, and we encourage and appreciate different points of view. Our intention at Shameless is to foster community and to maintain a safe and positive blogging environment; we do not consider it our duty to give a voice to anybody with an opinion.
Discussion on this site is moderated. We will delete comments that:
(We get to decide what's discriminatory, hateful, attacking, or inflammatory).
In some cases, we will cap off comments on a discussion when we feel they are spiralling out of control and fostering an unwelcoming space for bloggers and readers. Comments will be closed by the Web Editor, unless the post is by the Web Editor, in which case the Editor in Chief will close them.
If your comments repeatedly make the same point, they may be deleted. This also applies to comments made by multiple members of the same organization.
Your comments should be about the topic of the post, not its writer—although we certainly encourage praise for our writers, if you want to say something nice.