I’m pretty sure probiotics do good things for your digestion. Prebiotics too (prebiotics are the new probiotics, after all). But man do I dislike being “challenged” by my food.
It must be exhausting to keep track of what all your foods are telling you to do. Only 4 days left to go on your dare with Metamucil. Wearing a red dress to show Becel you care about women’s heart health.*
And now keeping track of where you are in your “30-day challenge” from any one of three (or more) different yogurt companies. Challenges that go along with what I’m less than affectionately calling “The Yogurt Wars”.
You know the brands — Yoptimal Immuni+ vs Astro BioBest Vitalite vs Danone Activia.
Where did these all come from? And why are they suddenly all over my tv? How did these stupid candy yogurts become the next big health and weightloss food, targeted at women?
Yoptimal has a tiny hovering man who holds your umbrella for you. I think Danone is the one where you dance around in a beige outfit. BioBest Vitalite makes yellow swirl around your midriff while your friend looks on in envy.
(And can we take a minute to ask why this beeyotch doesn’t offer her friend any? “What is that?” Obviously she’s hungry you nitwit. You both just got back from the gym, toss her a yogurt for pity’s sake…)
Sure, advertising exaggerates and is, for the most part, ridiculous. But. come. on. It’s yogurt. And suddenly I’m hearing about it all the time. More than that, it’s calling me out. I’m getting glove-slapped by yogurt? I don’t take that from dairy (if you can call this junk dairy).
Take the challenge. Try it for 30-days. Pre AND Probiotics! Look at the abs you’re going to get!
Are any of these brands even organic? Local? Fresh? Or are the pre and probiotics buried under the layers of gunk added to make them internationally shippable?
Maybe it’s a good idea to eat yogurt on occasion, but not by the time these chuckleheads are done with it.
Do you know what is good?
Yogurt. How about just yogurt? Straight up. Even (especially) *gasp* without copyrighted, patented, “TriActiv+ PRO REGULATTE”. Yogurt that’s organic. Made near where you live. Packaged in a responsible way.
Feeling daring? Add a little fresh fruit. Maybe some honey. Be old skool. Eat real food.
*Read the very fine print on that commercial and notice how, despite appearances, the Heart and Stroke Foundation does not endorse Becel: “Acceptance of financial support by the Heart and Stroke Foundation does not constitute an endorsement.”
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seven comments
Too funny. :) I have yogurt additive fatigue too.
Gotta say though - probiotics have helped me greatly. I buy expensive ones from a certified source. Real yogurt would work just as well, but the stuff that is full of sugar and preservatives and whatever other additives really doesn't make an observable differencec to me.
Posted by Louise
March 7, 2008, 6:09 PM
I make my own yogourt (I'm cheap, and it also feels healthier/fresher) - I buy a container of plain yogourt from the store (I get Balkan or greek-style yogourt), add a tablespoon to some warm milk, keep it in a warm place, and voila! 12 or so hours later, fresh yogourt, mild and yummy. When you start your own, it's easy to control what goes into it - 2%, homo milk, organic milk, etc. Sweeten with honey, add the tiniest bit of vanilla extract, and drown some granola in it for good measure.
Just what is it they are patenting or copyrighting, anyone? Some genetically modified bacteria? I'll take the traditional tried-and-true yogourt cultures, thank you very much.
Posted by Sarah O
March 8, 2008, 10:41 AM
Yay for DIY yogurt! I used to make my own too, but I had trouble keeping it at a consistent temperature and after several failed batches I got bummed out and stopped trying. Any tips, Sarah O?
Posted by Anna
March 8, 2008, 6:31 PM
I'm fortunate that the heat source at our house is an oil stove, so I can sit the yogourt-to-be on a tv table in front of that. If I were living in an apartment again with it's own water heater (in the storage closet), I would try sitting it on that. If you start plants from seed you could use a warming mat, or if you brew your own wine a heating belt - but maybe a heating pad on the lowest setting could sub in? I have heard that some people put it in the oven, but unless your oven has a constantly burning pilot light, it doesn't seem like it would be hot enough.
I loooove homemade yogourt cheese. I use it instead of sour cream on perogies or with nachos, but you can spread it on toast too... so good! I just put the yogourt in a tea towel, hang it over an open container, and put it in the fridge. The excess water drains off, and voila!
I wish I could give better ideas about the heat source. I'll have to figure something out before we turn the stove off for the summer.
Posted by Sarah O
March 10, 2008, 6:19 PM
I've heard you can also use an electric blanket for a heat source!
Posted by Thea
March 11, 2008, 9:41 AM
I took a cheesemaking class last summer and have been obsessed with fermentation in all its forms ever since. I too had the yogurt temperature dilemma since our stove is electric, so I bought a heavy-duty cooler (the kind that advertises that it will keep food cold for 24 hours--it works for the hot too!), just at Safeway, and make my yogurt in class jars.
It should incubate for 24-48 hours, but with a good cooler all I have to do is heat up some water to boiling and add it to the cooler once or twice a day, and it turns out perfectly. Also, if its turning out too runny, add 1/2 cup of powdered milk during the heating process, and make sure you're adding the starter yogurt only after the milk has cooled to 120 degrees F so you don't kill it.
If the starter you choose is local and organic (and the milk you use to culture it) then yours will be forever too! :)
Posted by Lindsey
March 11, 2008, 10:59 AM
I sat around the kitchen table at the ad agency I used to work for and listened to one of the women explain why she was taking BioBest Vitalite.
"It basically helps you crap better."
Say what?
"Yeah, that's what the little swirly thing is all about."
Wow, how apetizing. I wonder why they didn't put that in the commercial.
"Oh come on, it's obvious in the commercial that's what it does. Everyone knows that that's what it means!"
Did everyone else but me have a Meaning of Swirly Symbols 101?
Posted by Eli
June 2, 2008, 1:44 PM
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