Poking around Feministe’s shameless self promotion open thread yesterday, I found this interesting discussion on things that girls need to know about sex. Here are the first few:
1. There are reliable ways, besides abstinence, to prevent pregnancy.
2. There are reliable ways, besides abstinence, to prevent STIs.
3. Abortion is safe (safer than carrying a pregnancy to term, in fact) and there’s a wide range of legitimate opinion as to when and whether it is appropriate.
There’s a lot more in the original post – you should click over and read it. As I’ve written elsewhere, quality sex ed is in short supply, especially in the States, and a lot of non-professionals are pitching in on the internet with material like this list. This movement has its ups and downs – without doctors vetting curriculum, some misinformation and strange emphasis can slip in – but it’s certainly better than abstinence-only education, which just doesn’t work.
Things might be about to change for our American friends – brooklynite has collected some quotes from presidential nominees which suggest that they might be on board with sex ed in a way that previous generations of American political leaders have not been.
So, what do you think every girl should learn about sex?
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12 comments
Every girl should learn how to actually enjoy safe sex! There is a lot of power that comes from knowledge and pleasure at the same time.
Thanks for posting this Allison, it's an important discussion that we need to be having in the sexual health world. We need to advocate peer education and respect for diversity.
I too have written about the crisis in sexual education in Canada for youth http://section15.ca/features/ideas/20...
Posted by Jessica
April 16, 2008, 3:38 PM
That what you see on the billboards is not the only option - that there are as many ways of having sex as there are people who have sex, and you should not worry about what everyone else does, or what everyone else thinks sex is supposed to look like. If you have sex, do it safely and do it the way you want it - don't just go with what someone else wants if it's not right for you.
Posted by Thene
April 16, 2008, 4:18 PM
Sex ed should be taught in the fifth grade, and it should be totally scientific. No telling the kids that they should or shouldn't have sex, just tell them it's their own choice.
Posted by Sexy Sadie
April 16, 2008, 5:37 PM
You know, I actually got sex ed, complete with information about condoms and queer issues, in grade five. I wonder if that was the initiative of my particular elementary school, or if it's still done?
Posted by Allison
April 17, 2008, 10:51 AM
The sex-ed curriculum at my school was probably well intentioned, but it just made me feel ashamed and afraid of my body.
Euphemisms were often used rather than the proper terms, making it seem as though our bodies were to horrible to be even named. We were taught briefly about condoms and birth control, but the entire lesson focussed on how unreliable they were. Queer issues were not mentioned even once in the 5 years. The (male) teacher also informed us that because of their periods women were overly emotional, cranky, and demanding, giving ample ammunition for all the guys in the class to dismiss any girl's valid concern with "PMS!".
Admittedly, it could have been worse. At the very least I did not get the "sex is a sin against god" line. Still, it would have been nice to have a sex-ed class that made me feel confident and proud of my body, sexuality, and self. It wasn't until well after the years of sex-ed that I figured that out for myself.
Posted by Natalie
April 17, 2008, 3:09 PM
I remember having sex ed in seventh or eighth grade, when I was too young to be thinking seriously about having sex, and we learned about STI prevention and contraception and how to stand up for yourself and say no if your partner was pressuring you into having sex. Good on the school for not pushing abstinence, but I remember wondering why anyone would ever want to have non-baby-making sex, if it was so risky and potentially hurtful. Totally got the impression that teenagers had sex because of peer pressure or because of self-esteem issues.
So, I think every girl should learn that sex is fun, and it's normal to want it, and it's not just something bad or stupid girls do.
Posted by Emily
April 17, 2008, 7:45 PM
Every girl should learn that when, where and with whom she has sex is her own decision and no one else's.
My sex ed in school was actually very scientific, but it could have used an empowerment side.
Posted by Katie
April 18, 2008, 11:15 AM
We've lived with the virgin/whore myth for so long that I think we need to tell kids, repeatedly, that who they have sex with (and when) does not define them.
Posted by la pobre habladora
April 18, 2008, 11:40 AM
I too remember being very put off by the idea of sex, both baby-making and non-, because every aspect of sex was presented as being painful to women (menstruation, losing your virginity, giving birth). I distinctly remember being envious that at worst, boys only had to deal with wet dreams.
I'd want girls to know that sex should feel good, and if it doesn't, don't do it. Really knowing that could have saved me a lot of pain.
Posted by sophyjane
April 19, 2008, 12:19 AM
I felt like once it was out on the table. Everyone now knew the secret .Who was gonna be the 1st one to actually try it. Like smoking pot or jumping off the roof . once 1 couple had do it . This is one of those guilty pleasure's as a teen , You don't want to keep such a wonderful expirence that they too can share together.
Before you know it kid's have having sex like it were the newest designer sinning sock underwear combo.
I think kids sex ed is need dont get me wrong . I think my hubby needs a refresher course.But it shouldn't be pushed on children that aren't ready for it. I was still playing barbies at 13 .
By 14 i was beening pressured why i was still a virgin.
Posted by Lucy
April 19, 2008, 9:03 AM
Sex ed should be taught in grade 6,7, and 8 and even in high school the right way. In grade 6-8 it was taught that this is a male's parts and a females parts, and the steps to a baby, and that when people love each other they have a baby, or when they marry, and also these couples are heterosexual so for lesbians and gays nothign is taught; same for in high school, it opens up to be more realistic, but its not taken to the fullest that it can be to help open them to choices, and methods, to protect them selves and enjoy sex.
I'm also strongly for condoms in school even though there is much concern that condoms in schools will increase sex, but people will have sex weither condoms are in the school or not.
Posted by Leah
April 26, 2008, 8:17 AM
In my class we're currently being taught sex-ed, but I feel as if there are too many holes in the lesson. Not only the material covered and how the opinions of the church are forced on us (thank god that our teacher doesn't do that herself) but the fact that we haven't had a proper sex-ed class taught to us since the 4th grade (now I am in 8th grade)
I'm serious! FOURTH grade! That's almost 4 years of information NOT absorbed and taken into consideration. And the thing that gets to me is that teachers are allowed to skip sex-ed altogether. That's not good for the children, especially at a time when they don't have a clue what their body is doing and why.
Posted by Brianne
April 26, 2008, 6:34 PM
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