When I was a little kid, I hated the color pink and all associated toys with a passion. It wasn’t that I had such a problem with the aesthetics, so much as I hated what that color stood for. The pink toys, the Barbies and the princesses and the baby dolls just didn’t speak to me. I didn’t want my toy to sit around waiting for Prince Charming. I wanted my toys to explore space or faraway lands, fighting evil villains and having glorious and heroic adventures.
Wedding Barbie just wasn’t up to the task, which led to many arguments with my grandma as to why she should buy me “boy toys” for my birthday. Since I was a kid, it has seemed to me that the toys marketed to girls have gotten even more insipid and PINK PINK PINK. The Disney Princess cult and its many imitators have always been the bane of my existence. The idea of a toy that does nothing but wear a sparkly tiara and wait for a man to rescue her didn’t sound fun to me at all. Is this what we want our young girls to aspire to?
So I was happy when I heard a report on American Public Media’s Marketplace podcast about how fairies are quickly supplanting princesses in popularity. A lot of little girls don’t want to sit around and wait for Prince Charming to marry them; they want to lead the adventure themselves, and fairies are nothing if not adventurous. As one little girl says in an interview, princesses
“weren’t doing things for themselves, other people were doing it for them. Like Snow White, she wasn’t as smart. You don’t take food from strangers.”
But fairies “are in nature, you don’t have to be watching a movie or, like, wear a fancy dress. They can be more [full of] personality and smart.”
Of course Disney is taking the opportunity to make buckets of money off their most popular fairy, Tinkerbell, but so what? Maybe Tink will be a jumping off point for many little girls to explore the adventurous fairy universe outside of Disneyland. Two things that come to my mind are Holly Black’s Ironside series and Susanna Clarke’s The Ladies of Grace Adieu.
As fellow Shameless writer Stark has said in her review of Ironside, Holly Black’s young adult novels use the world of faerie to discuss addiction, violence, queerness, and difference. Susanna Clarke’s Johnathan Strange & Mr. Norrell and the more female-centric collection of stories that serves as the sequel, The Ladies of Grace Adieu, are adult books that rework British history as if all the fairytales were true. History is thus populated with brave magician queens, collectives of sorceresses that secretly work spells from within their mansions, and strong women that resist the cruel manipulations of the wicked fairies. While I’ve often been frustrated with the sexism common to fantasy writing, I have faith that some of these little girls will grow up to expect more, and bring their own strength and individuality and feminism to the world of faerie and beyond.


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eight comments
Very interesting! I'm still not sure how I feel about perpetuating something that is just another way of managing women, and telling them how to be bad and good - whether I agree with the sentiments behind it, I still worry about that stuff.
I know what you mean about the pink... pink wasn't a big thing when I was growing up, so I didn't have to avoid it as much as some younger women, or women from other cultures, but I really had the colour almost hard-wired (not quite) as weak. So it's still hard for me to engage it without thinking of weak.
Posted by Sandy O'Sullivan
November 3, 2008, 11:05 AM
Although I agree that the cult of the Disney Princess leaves much to be desired as role models for our young girls, I was one of those little girls who grew up with (and loved) playing with Barbie in all her incarnations and with all her acoutrements (though as a child of the 60's and early 70's they were much fewer than what is available to her now.
Perhaps because I had brothers, I also played with boy "toys" Connex and Lego were favourites, and inspired dreams of becoming an architect; building forts of snow in winter and scavenged materials in summer with my brothers was also a normal activity. So too, was coming home after school and playing in the gigantic sandbox my parents had installed with the assortment of trucks, payloaders, bulldozers and shovels that lived there year round.
Despite my love of baby dolls which I nurtured (feeding, changed diapers and rocked and sang to) or my adult dolls (those Barbies that you hated so much) who went swimming in our kitchen sink with her fellow Barbies or camping in the camper, or were actresses in the plays that I wrote for them (making teeny, tiny scripts lol); or yes, sometimes, they just tried on clothes; nevertheless, playing with those dolls and being indoctrinated in the cult of pink caused me no harm, in fact, led me to have a very balanced and modern view of a woman's life.
I took care of those babies as a child mama, had fun my with girlfriends in my leisure time as "teen/adult Barbie", and "went to work" building beautiful homes and designing cities.
Where was Ken while Barbie was out living her life? Brought out on one or two occasions when Barbie went to a party, but otherwise relegated to a dusty corner in the back of my closet.
Posted by Kit Lang
November 3, 2008, 11:15 AM
Thanks for your comment, Kit. Something I was thinking of when writing this post was an article (which of course I can't find now) I read a few months ago about children's clothing. The author was a mother who was frustrated that she found it a struggle to find any item of clothing for her daughter that was minus some form of sparkles or pink. She wrote about how when she was a kid in the Seventies, the colors available in children's clothing were much more gender neutral. Girls and boys wore browns and greens and similar sorts of sweaters and jeans. Now it's a struggle to even find a pair of girls sneakers without pink bows. I think it's much the same way with toys. There are fewer and fewer gender neutral toys, and the "girl" toys and "boy" toys have grown increasingly separated. It's so frustrating to see commercials for tiny blue sports cars driving around a plastic town being played with by all boys, and then five seconds later seeing the exact same toy painted pink with flowers and a mall instead of a garage being played with by a group of girls. Why couldn't there be a toy car set that would be marketed to boys and girls? Why are boys and girls never shown playing together? Why do we let toy manufacturers and ad agencies create these categories for us?
Posted by Michelle
November 3, 2008, 12:16 PM
I hated everything pink when I was little. I did have a couple of Barbies when I was four or so, but they were life partners - the great-aunt who sent them to me was perplexed about why I never wanted a Ken to go with them.
I played with Legos all the time, but I've noticed that even those are gendered these days. 15 or 20 years ago, there were basic building sets and some pirate-themed things, and now it's either space invaders (for boys, of course) or hair salons (for girls only, because we wouldn't want any boys playing with those). I don't have any trouble with girls choosing to play with "girly" things, but I do wish there were more gender-neutral options, and fewer toys that try to force both sexes of kids into predefined gender roles. It does a terrible disservice to girls and boys, and I think especially to those of us who are queer.
I'm glad fairies are gaining in popularity, too.
Posted by Mira
November 3, 2008, 2:07 PM
I must confess that I did have a thing for Barbie dolls when I was young. Ken never factored into the equation, though. I was more interested in buying the clothing lines for Barbie and dressing her in the most outrageous outfits imaginable. I also loved Jem and the Hollograms and She-Ra as well. However, my parents both had to start weaning me off of the dolls when my love for them moved from clothing and hair to an interest in stripping them naked and tying them to the legs of chairs and tables. My mom wasn't exactly thrilled at the idea of always having to scout the apartment for a possible "Bondage Barbie"-style incident before inviting guests over.
That said, I was also equally, if not more, interested in reading than playing with dolls. I find that the strength I have as a woman today is much more rooted in the books I was reading when I was a child. Ann M. Martin's "The Babysitter's Club" series is of particular importance when it comes to how I have come to view female/female relationships when it comes to both adults and young adults. Despite all of the YA books being published today, kids simply aren't reading as much as I did as a kid and I always find that equally shocking and disturbing.
But, putting my being a book-nerd aside, I guess feel like I was exposed to a much broader spectrum of "girly" toys than girls are today. With Barbie and all the other incarnations she has spawned, such as the repulsive Bratz dolls, I feel like the little girls growing up now have it way worse than I ever did when it comes to toys that aren't soley marketed by advertisers who seem to have taken it upon themselves to teach these kids what they should and shouldn't like, or what they should or shouldn't look like. I never got the idea that I was any different from any other girl for liking Lego and reading just as much as dressing (or undressing) Barbie or Jem or She-ra and I don't think that young girls nowadays are afforded that same kind of freedom and I find that very, very distressing.
Posted by Dawnie
November 3, 2008, 2:58 PM
Jezebel mentioned this post in their blog today...
http://jezebel.com/5075045/is-it-bett...
:)
Posted by D. Cole
November 3, 2008, 8:29 PM
I loved pink and baby dolls but hated Barbie
I suppose some people will think its weird that ive wanted a baby (or babies) of my own since i was small
girly shouldn't be considered unfeminist - different strokes for different folks
Posted by Jasmine
November 5, 2008, 7:08 AM
Hooray for faeries! Did you happen hear the follow-up to that Marketplace piece? A woman wrote in stating that Tinker Bell might not be the best role model, since she had plotted Wendy's death in the original Peter Pan book. Hmmmmm... Either way, it is nice to see girls thinking for themselves (good for the one that said Snow White got what she deserved for talking to strangers!) and choosing faeries over princesses!
P.S. I like pink. ;)
Posted by Megan
November 6, 2008, 12:42 PM
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