Just a few months ago I was feeling really positive about the advances made by queers in North America. Lindsay Lohan was dating a woman, and rather than being made into a to-do of Ellen proportions, the relationship was treated to the same amount of gossipy speculation and paparazzi photos as any other boring Hollywood pairing. Gray’s Anatomy had ended its season with a climactic kiss between two women, and all of lesbian fandom was a-buzz with the burgeoning love affair between Pepa and Silvia on the Spanish soap opera, Los Hombres de Paco.
Cyndi Lauper guest starred on a very special Gay Pride episode of As the World Turns, serenading the show’s adorable gay couple, Luke and Noah with “True Colors.”
I started seeing “Vote No on Prop 8” amended to the signatures of emails I received from many of my friends and coworkers, most of whom are straight. Gay people on traditional soap operas? A strong and united front against a ban on gay marriage? I felt a sea change coming.
And then…Lindsay Lohan admitted Ronson was her girlfriend and then felt the need to have her publicist deny they had ever been a couple five seconds later, Brooke Smith got kicked off Gray’s Anatomy for no apparent reason aside from homophobia, Prop 8 passed in California, and Kanye West has a new, offensive video that is playing every five minutes on Much Music and MTV.
I’ve been annoyed with Kanye since ‘Stronger’ and the ever so charming lyrics:
I’d do anything for a blonde dyke,
And she’ll do anything for the limelight,
And we’ll do anything when the time’s right
Baby you’re makin’ it
Harder, better, faster, stronger
First of all, I have no idea why Kanye is allowed to say “dyke” in his song and not catch any flack for it. It’s as much a hateful slur as the N-word or the F-word, or any of the other disgusting epithets that get turned into “[first letter]-word” so that we don’t have to say them ourselves. I guess it’s okay because it’s so harmless. After all, he’s expressing a deep appreciation for girl-on-girl action and how much it gets him off, especially if the girls in question will do anything with him for the attention. Oh yeah, I definitely agree that the only thing preventing me from switching teams is that I haven’t been propositioned by a man with enough money and power.
In this new video, the male dancers are all dressed as African warriors and there are a lot of them. The few women that exist in the video are scantily clad porn star lookalikes with breast implants that just sorta stand around, doing nothing. At the middle point, the video suddenly morphs into a surrealist remake of The Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman. Two buxom and totally nude women are shown towering over all the men. The men dance around their feet, but to no effect, as the two giantesses are only into each other. They start to gyrate and rub against one another, basically turning the video into yet another example of the straight male fantasy of lesbianism, a sexuality that only exists for their pleasure. What is this, Kanye? What does that have to do with your song? I mean, honestly, I have no idea what the concept of the video is in general, but I’m even more confused by the inclusion of the neon-painted, naked, fifty foot lesbians. Just knock it off, Kanye, we already have our hands full with Katy ‘UR So Gay’ Perry, and the queers are having a bad enough week without any help from you.