Photo from post on I Am Friends With Sluts (iamfriendswithsluts.tumblr.com)
iamfriendswithsluts.tumblr.com thinks you are! This new-ish Tumblr roll is a compilation site of photos of girls that are posted on social networking sites like Facebook or Myspace. Readers submit photos they find on their friends or strangers sites to I Am Friends With Sluts and they are posted with ridiculously disappointing commentary:
“It only takes two wine coolers to make me a lesbian”
“I’m training to fight my eating disorder next month on Pay-Per-View.”
“Bound together by tramp stamps, father issues and low self esteem.”
Aside from the obvious problems of ye ol’ patriarchy rearing its ugly head on the internets, the site reads like bad bad news, even despite the “satirical blog” disclaimer which ensures any response to the site creators won’t be taken seriously because they’re “just joking”.
A more serious issue, and one that drives me crazy, is that the patriarch has made it crystal clear that they’re winning, and despite my constant proclamation of “we’re sexy by choice!!”, these pictures and their content confirm that these are oppressed choices. Slowly people are starting to talk about the personal sexualization of self on the ‘net but these discussions are often left to sites like Suicide Girls and other more porno’d sites and shows. These pictures read more like Girls Gone Wild, and the blocking out of eyes and randomizing of the photographs removes the reality of these girls’ lives and personalities (unlike Girls Gone Wild). But because these photos are pilfered from social networking sites, they are REAL girls and these are their REAL experiences; and they’re no longer theirs because they’re out there on the internet for anyone to see. And this is site is a perfect example of what someone might do to the party fun time content.
So, is the answer then that women stop putting pictures like this up on social networking sites? I’m not sure. Is it easier then dismantling the patriarch? Discuss!
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11 comments
I don't think this tumblr blog is the problem. These girls will exist regardless of the blog. The blog is just "organizing" a bunch of their Facebook/Myspace pictures for humour - I don't know how funny it is though (and by "it" I mean the girls, not the blog). Who is more degrading - the blog creators, or the girls themselves that allow these pictures to be taken and put on the internet? These girls need to take responsibility for their own actions or else they'll face consequences, straight up. I have respect for girls who can assert their sexuality with confidence, class, and style, but to me, these girls just seem insecure and immature. To me? There's no respect to be had for them solely based on these pictures.
Posted by Erin
October 4, 2009, 8:28 PM
"I am friends with sluts" is like shaming these women and girls, or at least making fun of them. It is judgemental, even if the girls and women should take responsibility for their own behaviour.
Where is the sisterhood?
Will we ever have one?
Posted by Daniela
October 4, 2009, 9:23 PM
Calm down. We're not trying to support or promote hegemonic masculinity or objectify these women (who have already done both of these things quite well on their own). We're just pointing out that posting skanky photos of yourself on the internet is kind of a stupid and trashy thing to do.
Someday in the future most of these women will have to explain why they did things like expose their breasts for video and cellphone cameras just for a free hat, t-shirt or a few complimentary/lascivious comments on their Myspace or Facebook page from horny goons.
How's that for sisterhood?
Posted by I Am Friends With Sluts
October 6, 2009, 2:24 AM
To 'I am friends with sluts': I'm afraid you've missed the point of this opinion post. As Diandra was saying, those girls have a real story, and the 'iamfriends' website is covering up those stories with the typical patriarchal crap you've replied with (for example,saying the girls who post the pictures were looking to get something with their sexuality or are hungry for attention). Even if that is the real story, who cares? Like you said, some day they'll have to explain, so let them do it on their own.
By the way, it's that very hegemony you claim not to be victim to that decides, "that posting skanky photos of yourself on the internet is kind of a stupid and trashy thing to do".
Posted by Steve
October 14, 2009, 12:15 AM
"posting skanky photos of yourself on the internet is kind of a stupid and trashy thing to do"....
It is easy to pigeon hole these women as empty vessels that work at nothing but to satisfy the "male gaze", get loaded and make out with each other. But branding these women, calling them sluts is just as sexist as the act of taking silly photos. I agree with the above posters, where is the sisterhood? Why are these women called sluts? I see pictures of girls in their underwearing, laughing drinking more then they should but I'm not seeing blow jobs or intercourse.
This is just another plateform to throw stones from. We need to reach a point where other women are refusing to use slander and sexist patriachal terms to describe other women.
Furthermore this site only focuses on women...sorry but I have seen an ample amount of photo evidence of young men with their popped collars, fake tans greasy hair-do's making "stud" gestures in a desperate attempt to get laid.
Girls getting drunk and making out for sexual attention? Better then getting drunk and fighting in a bar to get attention, better then getting drunk and raping a girl to get laid. I'd rather be a drunk "slut" then an sexually aggresive predator.
Posted by Meredith
October 20, 2009, 2:27 AM
First, most name calling comes from other women. As soon as you do something like "become a slut" its your gfs that are going to use that information against you. To put you on the bottom of the totem pole. It helps if they are ... fertile and feel you are competition as well.
Second, the men who get fake tans, have greasy hair, etc...are in some places called guidos. Believe me, men rag on these guys just as hard. Hundreds of pages, and thousands of posts on forums dedicated to this. Man-whore/Loser Dichotomy is a lose-lose situation unfortunately.
And then...there is the site..."people of walmart"...its another source of crude entertainment. But is it coercive? No...it is free and democratic.
Offer an alternative, or suppress free speech. Freedom vs Control. The light side vs the dark side of the force :P
Posted by lj
October 21, 2009, 8:17 PM
Whether or not women use that kind of language towards other women is irrelevant. In the context described above, 'slut' is a patriarchal machination that has sadly penetrated the whole of society's subconscious.
@LJ: As the blogger was writing, this isn't about shutting down that site, it's about what people can do to change society so that sites like that won't exist in the first place. Is it easier to further suppress girls (by making them fear the pictures they show are going to be used by someone malicious) or change everyone's views on the girls who post photos of themselves? You call it free speech, but it's really the hegemony controlling how we view women (friendswithsluts), the lower/working class (people of wallmart), Italian Americans (guidos?), etc.
Posted by Steve
October 22, 2009, 10:55 PM
These pictures may not even have been taken in sexual contexts. When someone posts on facebook they trust their friends to exercise good will in what they do with those pictures. It may be hard to take that trust seriously on the internet, but to abuse it is to put your friends at risk. Never mind all the derisive gossip, what do you suppose the odd pervert out there will do with this site? Whether you're on facebook or not, chances are that there are pictures of you on it and you can't always control what kind even f you wish to. There's something chilling about this when it comes to our safety. And it's bad taste that, as much as it may be good for a laugh, definitely will create hard feelings ammoung immature people too flippant to respect bounderies. Not that everyone posted on this site would consider their bounderies crossed, but it will blur that line and that's very sad.
Posted by Myra
October 25, 2009, 11:49 PM
"Calm down. We're not trying to support or promote hegemonic masculinity or objectify these women (who have already done both of these things quite well on their own)."
More often than not, people objectify other people. Wearing revealing clothing, or "dressing like a whore" has more to do with a sense of self rather than objectification. Many women dress that way because it makes them feel attractive and whether that has anything to do with men or sex is irrelevant.
"We're just pointing out that posting skanky photos of yourself on the internet is kind of a stupid and trashy thing to do."
Yes, posting anything that can be considered incriminating is probably a bad idea. But crucifying these women isn't any better. It may be different if your Tumblr was clever or truly satiric, but all I see are comments putting these women down in all kinds of hegemonic ways: calling them trailer trash, associating pregnancy and STIs with promiscuity, etc. And when you run out of those kinds of comments, you resort to even more base insults:
"Are we dudes or just super fucking ugly?
Only our urologists and your nightmares know for sure."
There's no lesson and nothing is learned except the same class/sexuality issues we see over and over again. You realize how these comments must read: that the posters are privileged, hoity-toity bitches with holier-than-thou attitudes.
And comments aside, the action of posting these photos (taken from "trusted" social networks, at that) without their consent, speaks volumes about intent and purpose. You can call it satire all you want, but this site is just a petty place for other women to feel better about themselves by putting others down.
Posted by E.W.
October 28, 2009, 4:50 PM
Interesting commentary, at least up until this Daily Dose of Fantasy post that took me to a porno site.
I found that a little jarring for a feminist site, in particular given the content of this blog.
What's up with that?
Posted by Oldgirl
November 4, 2009, 9:44 AM
The comment in question has now been deleted.
Posted by Cate Simpson
November 4, 2009, 3:37 PM
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