I got my first tattoo when I was 18. It was actually my 18th birthday present from my sister and was part of an amazingly wild May 2-4 weekend. But as crazy as the weekend was, the tattoo part of it was extremely planned out.

I had wanted a tattoo forever, and although my mom was okay with it, she made sure I had found a reputable (i.e. clean and capable) place to get it done and had really, really thought about what I wanted.

She talked to me about how having a tattoo visible in certain places could effect aspects of your life like your career. She explained to me that what I may want now might not be so cool 20 years down the road. She even drew examples on my back so I knew exactly where I wanted my tattoo placed.

To this day, I love my tattoo (and each that has followed) and have no regrets.

But that’s just me.

Kimberley Vlaminck on the other hand…

(more inside…)

First of all, this is not a post about the pros/cons or ethical/eco/health issues of vegetarianism.

For my own reasons, and after one failed attempt a few years ago, I’m again going vegetarian, perhaps even vegan (I love cheese, but my tummy doesn’t!).

I’ve been meat-free for a few months now and things are going great. I’m feeling awesome! My complexion has changed for the better, I’ve dropped a few pounds (I’m not trying to loose weight, but I did have a couple pounds of fat that I needed to rid my body of if I wanted to be healthy), and even the flesh under my fingernails looks nice and rosy and pink. And I’m full of energy!

The main reason my former attempt at vegetarianism failed was lack of yummy recipes and knowledge of meat-free alternatives available.

So here is where I ask for your help and expertise…
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Voting season always brings up all sorts of civic-philosophical issues for me. Like, I have trouble believing in the potency of my single vote, and yet that’s the entire principle of a democratic electoral system, duh. And should I vote for the issues I care about, or against the issues I hate? Or, like my avowedly socialist housemate, I could abstain from the whole thing, or spoil my ballot as a statement against the powers that be, blah blah blah - but is anyone listening? (I probably won’t do either of those last two, but they are food for thought.)

In any case, it seems like a near-universal truth that, with the exception of a few optimistic enthusiasts, Canadians don’t vote for the party we care about. Rather, we vote for one despicable dirtbag in order to keep another despicable dirtbag out of office. Depressing as strategic voting is, it’s often necessary, and now there’s even a website that will tell you how to vote in order to prevent a Harper majority. All you do is enter your postal code and it’ll give you a breakdown of your riding and a recommended candidate. Besides being useful if you’re into that sort of thing, it’s kind of an interesting experiment in statistical data dealing with large populations, and, like, the power of the internet, man.

N.B. - According to the website, my riding is apparently guaranteed to go NDP, so I’ve been instructed to “vote with my heart”. Sweet, count one ballot for the Marxist Feminist Jazz Dancing Karaoke Party.

Rabble.ca has launched a great new “advice column” for activists called Now What?

When the stresses and strains of daily life combine with the realities of an unjust world, sometimes you just need some good advice. Ms. Communicate is here to take your questions, and each week we’ll feature her response.

The first installment? Ms. Communicate outlines your options for dealing with that obnoxious right-winger in your extended family (we all have ‘em.)

…you have my permission to use as much swearing as you deem appropriate. Racism and sexism are much more offensive than profane language, in my view.

Maybe I’m in a good mood today, but for some reason I’m all about “amusing.” On that note, please enjoy this long-lost 1946 animated Disney film, The Story of Menstruation. Disney and Kotex partnered to “set young ladies of the forties straight on the real story behind the mysterious changes their bodies were going through.”

From BoingBoing:

Neither sexuality nor reproduction is mentioned in this influential film, and an emphasis on sanitation makes it, as Disney historian Jim Korkis has suggested: ‘a hygienic crisis rather than a maturational event.

Watch the video and learn the following piece of advice:

“Once you stop feeling sorry for yourself and take Those Days in your stride, you’ll find it’s easier to remain even-tempered.”

Something funny for your Friday. A UK website called So Feminine has published their Ten Commandments of “Making the first move” and I have to say they made me chuckle a little bit. Not that my educational expectations were all that high. Check out this gem:

2. DON’T show you’re confident: you don’t like men who come over as cocky, right? It works the same both ways.

I don’t know about you, but confident and cocky seem to be two very different concepts to me. Then the list gets even more hilariously confusing and contradictory…

6. Be yourself: don’t try and be something you’re not just to pull him. Be sexy, but be you.

7. Watch your appearance: he has to think you’re gorgeous and classy right from the start. First impressions stick around!

8. BUT don’t go over the top: you don’t want him to think he’s not good enough for you or make him feel in any way inadequate. If you try too hard it could have the opposite effect and send him bolting for the door!

9. Once you’re in there, remain forward: men can be intimidated by a woman coming on to them and they might not know how to react. Don’t be shy about making the second or third move too!

10. BUT try and be as discreet as possible: this is the hardest bit. You have to let him think he initiated things, otherwise his male pride could take a battering…

Phew! Okay, so I’m supposed to be myself, but if myself is confident, I’m not supposed to be myself, but I should be a sexy version of myself, but not too sexy as to make him feel inadequate, or intimidating, but if I am indimidating I should keep being intimidating, but to protect his pride, not too intimidating, you know - intimidating in a non-confident, kind of sexy but not too sexy way that’s myself but not too much like myself….

via Jezebel

At work today my co-worker, a well-meaning and wonderful woman, asked me to watch a special video clip on the dangers of some type of breast cancer with her.

I was feeling unwilling. Not because I wanted to be ignorant (although some days I do want to bury my head in the sand), but because I was healthily suspicious. My suspicions bore out.

The video clip was actually a short news segment from a local television news show. You know the ones: they run about 5 minutes, they have news heads like “Your children are being poisoned by their toys and no one is telling you anything about it” or “You thought your doctor knew all the risks, but we found out that you are doomed” etc etc. Ok, maybe I’m exaggerating, but these intense stories are generally overblown “unknown” risk stories, where you are the victim of some strange disease, or manufacturing defect, or nasty pedophile, or whatever, and you really have to pay better attention and look out for your vulnerable self in this dangerous world.

It is not coincidental that these stories are directed at women; women, who are generally portrayed as the victims or the caretakers of potential victims (ie children and the elderly). These stories have email vareities, too - “don’t buy this cough medicine” or “don’t park on a downward slope facing east near a pschiatric institution” blah blah. I feel a momentary twinge of guilt when I deny my forwarding powers. You know these scare emails - you’ve likely forwarded them, well-intentioned woman that you are - they are about the perfume killer (perfume sample offered to you is actually chloroform) and the abduction in the mall parking lot (just when you thought that being a good shopper would save you from the bandits).

The current issue of Bitch Magazine debunks many of these emails as powerful hoaxes of the urban myth variety. (The best source for debunking these things, I find, is the site www.Hoax-Slayer.com.) Finally! This scare tactic revealed for what it really is - an attempt to foster fear-mongering about women in public places - the old anti-woman, pro-domestic attempt to convince you that you are simply safer if you stay home and stay unnoticed (and cover yourself up, too!). Writer Niki Papadopoulos does a great job of pointing out that while your female relatives are ostensibly looking out for you by forwarding you this stuff, the circulation of these emails serves to reinforce a skewed picture of threats to women’s safety. (Now, I won’t even talk about how many of the forwarders are my same women friends who don’t send me links to petitions and actions on abortion, women in education, because that stuff is too “political” for them!) Now, if I seem to be overreacting, think about it this way. If we continually encourage women to not dress or act a certain way in public to avoid being scrutinzed/catcalled/raped, it is a short step from blaming women for the violence they encounter (“She was dressed like that, she asked for it!”). Once again, women must be responsible for their choices to avoid danger - men are not held accountable for their “hormonal instincts”.

In fact, men are much more likely to be the victim of a violent attack by a stranger. So warn your men. And keep forwarding emails to your women-folk that urge them to support actions to expose the epidemic of domestic abuse in our country - a far, far far greater cause of violence against women than any dude with a perfume sample.

“It doesn’t say great things about me, but smoking has been a constant presence in my life for a long time- and I don’t remember what I used to do - or how I used to be without it.”

-Emily Flake, These Things Ain’t Gonna Smoke Themselves.

For the last six months I’ve been hilariously “pretending I don’t smoke.” I’ve gone from being a ten-year pack-a-day, stupidly proud, reckless, chain-smoking fiend to hiding my habit from my family, my friends, my employers and (occasionally) my live-in partner.  Although I’m sure that there’s been some benefit to reducing my smoking habit considerably by means of concealing it, my life has gotten ridiculous. Who am I fooling? I am 28 years old and I am hiding my habit the same way I would when I was 16 - and yes folks, that’s how long I have been smoking.

Let’s face it: the smoking party is over. No one smokes anymore and no one is stupid enough to even vaguely believe it’s not going to kill you dead. For those of you who are young and toying with the notion, don’t fret- I’m not going to go on the “smoking is gonna get you” rant, cause quite frankly we all know it and I’d be a hypocrite if I spouted it off here. I’d rather come from a place that suggests you define yourself, and since we’d all rather define ourselves as non-smokers, let’s do that, shall we? See, that was easy enough.

So, what the heck am I doing?  I’ve been a fool. I’ve been hanging on. I’ve been putting this off and putting this off, but I have to make a final decision to define myself either as a smoker or not. I think we’re all in agreement that it would be better for me to make the decision to be a non-smoker, so here I am, doing just that. I’m just not committed to smoking in the same way I was, so I’m going to do a very public dumping of the habit just so you, Shameless readers (smokers, non-smokers and “pretenders”) can watch me fall apart and pick myself up again.

(more inside…)

Anne Katz wrote an excellent article in the Fall 2004 issue of Shameless discussing young women getting comfortable with sex. I’d like to pick up on that conversation with a Summer 2007 installment: on orgasms.

Since this is a ‘non-professional’ entry, I think we can assume the usual disclaimer that I have no special training to bring to bear on this subject. However, that seems to be true of much of the information (and misinformation) flotsam out there. So I’m tossing my two cents in the ring (ah mixed metaphors, how I enjoy you).

As there is much to discuss, I’m once again going to divide the content into two parts (I promise I learnt my lesson, and Part 2 is not far behind this time).
* Part 1: O is for Orgasm
* Part 2: Ejaculation is not a male monopoly

Part 1
It is jaw dropping when you consider the disparity between what we know about men’s orgasms, and what we know about women’s. (more inside…)