February 19, 2013 • Podcasts
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SF: Can you describe what was different about being with somebody of the same sex as opposed to a different sex?
Y: For me personally the sex that I had with the opposite sex, it was like, more mechanical. It was like okay, this is how it’s done. And then I was like, okay, I like it, but I don’t know, I don’t know if I have control over this, I don’t like. I mean, not that necessarily I don’t like it, but I don’t like the fact that I’m feeling kind of strange about this, I don’t know where I necessarily I fit in, you know? And the connection wasn’t necessarily there. ‘Cause, I’m more about the emotional connection also, but when it was with a woman, I was like, oh wow, there’s a connection there, and I’m actually feeling way more comfortable about my own body and everything else.
SF: Have you continued to learn about sex as you’ve grown up?
Y: I think we all do, in many ways, yeah, because sex is different with every person. So you learn different things about that person, about that person’s sexuality, about your own sexuality with that person. So, that’s the way I see it. We’re constantly learning about ourselves and each other. So, I can learn this kind of thing with this person, about this position, or about this consent issue, or that emotional thing, you know.
SF: Are there things that you’ve had to unlearn about sex?
Y: Uhhh...yeah! Yeah, I definitely had to learn to be like, okay, you know what, loosen up a little bit. You know, like ,‘cause, when I first started having sex - I’m 36 now - it was like 15. Obviously, I was very nervous, very like this is way it’s done, so this is the way it has to be. Just like you’re constantly learning, you’re constantly unlearning, too. I’m just, like, leaving it open now, and I’m just, like - as long as I’m comfortable with it and my partner is comfortable with it, then, definitely. That’s one thing that I wish, to just be more open. And I’m learning that as I go along, still.
SF: What is your process of teaching yourself things? Did you grow up in Canada?
Y: Part of my growing up was in Iran. So, between 9 and 14, 15, I was mostly in Iran. So, I have learned some of my sexuality there, too, which was quite interesting when I came here.